Touria Prayag's Blog

L’express Weekly, 3 December 2010

Posted in Uncategorized by touriaprayag on December 17, 2010

Weekly 3rd Dec

Behind the façade of
the weeping Madonna

I would like to apologize to all the hunger strikers
we have seen in performance during the last
few months. I once called them opportunists.
Forgive me. What I meant was that they are irredeemable
opportunists. The kind who put forward
their misery, hide their real motivation and try to
attract sympathy.
For the uninitiated, the hunger strike mini-series
started at the beginning of the year. Unfortunately for
those watching, the only plot change is the price tag
hunger strikers attach to their misery. The latest episode
has been the strike by two Riche Terre planters
with a woman hopping on to the band wagon for good
measure to bring the number up to a startling three
and, more importantly, to create the racial balance
needed. For the record, the female striker is neither a
planter nor married to either of the hunger strikers.
Why did she join the strike, then? Ask me another!
Behind the façade of the weeping Madonna;
behind the hullabaloo of two supposedly desperate
hard-working planters who are asking for nothing
more than to be able to till their land to feed their
compatriots, so much so that they even threatened
to approach the Food and Agriculture Organization,
the only legitimate claim made in what had become
an ocean of incoherent, unreasonable demands and
wild speculation is the publication of the Noël/Ramkissoon
report. I don’t really understand why Satish
Faugoo persisted in his stubbornness. As it turned
out, the report had little more to offer than what was
already on the table. Well, not quite. According to
Eric Mangar, another one of the planters’ spokespersons
who manifestly grossly outnumber the strikers
themselves (at the last count the ratio was 20 to 1),
there is “a new option” for those who “do not wish to
go back and work the land… the planters are happy
to have this option.” Yes, you have understood: the
option of not working the land they were fi ghting for!
The spokesperson adds, answering a question he was
never asked, that “those who support hunger strikers
[ten additional celebrity seeking individuals every
morning] have no hidden agenda.” I rest my case!
Well, all is well that ends well. The extortion scam
has worked and the celebratory feast has started as
the menu of the ex-planters, who are now too rich to
be interested in planting, is made public in a scene
reminiscent of the “petit déjeuner du roi” of Napoleon
Bonaparte.
And, for those who worry that the country is now
geared for boredom, cheer up! The “victory” being
trumpeted is bound to trigger more hunger strikes.
So, spokesmen of all guilds, don’t get off stage. The
best is yet to come!

I would like to apologize to all the hunger strikers
we have seen in performance during the last
few months. I once called them opportunists.
Forgive me. What I meant was that they are irredeemable
opportunists. The kind who put forward
their misery, hide their real motivation and try to
attract sympathy.
For the uninitiated, the hunger strike mini-series
started at the beginning of the year. Unfortunately for
those watching, the only plot change is the price tag
hunger strikers attach to their misery. The latest episode
has been the strike by two Riche Terre planters
with a woman hopping on to the band wagon for good
measure to bring the number up to a startling three
and, more importantly, to create the racial balance
needed. For the record, the female striker is neither a
planter nor married to either of the hunger strikers.
Why did she join the strike, then? Ask me another!
Behind the façade of the weeping Madonna;
behind the hullabaloo of two supposedly desperate
hard-working planters who are asking for nothing
more than to be able to till their land to feed their
compatriots, so much so that they even threatened
to approach the Food and Agriculture Organization,
the only legitimate claim made in what had become
an ocean of incoherent, unreasonable demands and
wild speculation is the publication of the Noël/Ramkissoon
report. I don’t really understand why Satish
Faugoo persisted in his stubbornness. As it turned
out, the report had little more to offer than what was
already on the table. Well, not quite. According to
Eric Mangar, another one of the planters’ spokespersons
who manifestly grossly outnumber the strikers
themselves (at the last count the ratio was 20 to 1),
there is “a new option” for those who “do not wish to
go back and work the land… the planters are happy
to have this option.” Yes, you have understood: the
option of not working the land they were fi ghting for!
The spokesperson adds, answering a question he was
never asked, that “those who support hunger strikers
[ten additional celebrity seeking individuals every
morning] have no hidden agenda.” I rest my case!
Well, all is well that ends well. The extortion scam
has worked and the celebratory feast has started as
the menu of the ex-planters, who are now too rich to
be interested in planting, is made public in a scene
reminiscent of the “petit déjeuner du roi” of Napoleon
Bonaparte.
And, for those who worry that the country is now
geared for boredom, cheer up! The “victory” being
trumpeted is bound to trigger more hunger strikes.
So, spokesmen of all guilds, don’t get off stage. The
best is yet to come!
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